Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Jul 20, 2012

The Sweetest Recollection


She looked at the old suitcase and like a flash of lightning the sweet memories of it came back to her mind. It was the suitcase her father bought for her and for the very first time, she would be carrying that black suitcase to a college; a new destination which she thought would be a good place for her future. Somehow or rather, she was pulled back by the dilemma whether to go or not.

In the first place, she did not intend to go there for she had other plans on mind. It was as if it was fated she would be there as she had accepted the offer and signed the related documents which would grant access to the door of the institution. She did not show much joy unlike her family, siblings and relatives who all gave a hand to make preparations before her departure.  They were all so excited which she understood as putting the hope on her to be among those who would bring pride to the family

It was for the very first time too, she would be leaving her family and alone on her own to face another phase of her education path.

How happy and contented her father looked the night he packed her clothes in the suitcase. Being a systematic type of person, he arranged neatly all her belongings, making sure everything was included. Mama was busy too packing some of the things which she would use while her sisters and brothers were talking noisily of how much they loved to follow her. She looked lovingly at them and had a sudden feeling that she would miss so much those cute faces. They were always together; playing, studying and quarreling!

The day came when she boarded a small plane to another place which to her was like  going to another country as she had never left her little home town. She could feel tears streaming down her cheeks. Why was she crying, she did not understand though she was a grown-up girl – a teenager.  Arghhhhh…it could be she was leaving her comfort zone and like a little bird had to learn to spread her wings to fly further.

On the day she arrived at the college, she cried again. Oh! When would this going to stop? Her heart was still at home! She felt homesick and started to think of her mama, father and everyone else and right at that moment she had wanted to be back home. How naive she was!

During the orientation week, she could not stand what the seniors told them, the ‘freshies’, to do. It was a whole week packed with activities and she could not adjust herself to the new environment. As early as 6 o’clock in the morning, they were told to get out of the hostel and had the early morning exercise. She was not an athlete and when they had to run around the field, she panted like a dog!  Back at the hostel, she threw herself on the bed and had some rest before attending the next programme.

In the beginning it was like hating to be in that college but towards the end, it was a different story. She felt this was the right place for her where she got to learn to be independent, knowledge-wise able to learn more than in school and she got to know more people and made friends who came from diverse backgrounds. It was so much fun having many friends around whom she regarded as her family. She had some very close ones who were always by her side and supported her throughout the college days.

After a two-year study, it was time for her to pack her things again and this time going back home. The irony was she started to feel so sad leaving such a beautiful place. When would she be back there again? When would she be able to have fun swimming using a float in the college’s swimming pool?  She would certainly miss all the fun she had with friends; sharing food, sneaking into the college vegetable garden to pick some spinach without the lecturer’s knowledge, playing hockey which was not her forte and which made her leg bruised, well, those were among the sweetest moments she would never forget.

College life had taught her so much If she were not there, she would not be able to further her next level of study for a bachelor’s degree. It was the path she had to take before stepping onto the campus ground and after four years, she got her degree’s scroll on the auspicious occasion in the grand hall of the university.  Her mama was there but not her father. The person who was an idol and who gave much inspirations to her was not able to witness her receiving the university’s scroll from the honorable vice-chancellor of University Putra Malaysia. How she wished he was there but in spirit she felt his presence who smiled proudly at her.  If only he was there in real, he would have received the most precious gift from his daughter – a scroll as a proof that he was right the day he sent her to further her studies.  He was called to rest before her graduation. She loved him so much but she knew the Lord loved him more.

She looked at the black suitcase again. She did not realize her cheeks were wet with tears.


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May 29, 2012

Apart
















One world but apart
Sweet, fond thoughts unite and stay
Across the wavelength

balqis
May29'12


*I wrote this when thinking of friends and family who are far away

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Aug 12, 2011

You Will Forever Be In Our Hearts

A year had gone by but sweet and loving memories linger on. As if it was only yesterday. Everything is still vivid - his voice, his jokes, his patience and his love for everyone. There are times we feel that he is still around. The fond thought of him will make mom teary-eyed. I could understand why for she was the one who gave unconditional love and care for him since the first day he came to this world till the last day he left for another world. Mom would sacrifice anything just to be with him, giving her utmost attention and care and attended to his every need. Though it had taken a toll on mom's health, she pushed every other thing aside and gave priority to him; with the prayers and hope that the support she gave would make things better.  Everyone else in the family was doing the same thing for him.

"Mom, I'm in deep pain." That was what he said to my mom who was always by his bedside. This rang through my ears right to my heart, as if piercing it. I felt as if my heart suddenly stopped beating for I could not even bear to hear that.  Everyone of us felt the very pain he went through and everyone would console him and tell him to be patient facing the critical moment. If only the word "patience" could do miracle, it would have healed his critical illness. Medicines had been like staple food that had to be taken everyday and in large amount. That had made him feel nauseated and lost appetite. Everyone of us would ask him anything he would like to eat and by all means would look for it.

For two years he was battling with the critical illness and finally succumbed to it on 11th August 2010. It was a terrible blow to everyone in my family and even worse for his own - leaving behind a wife and 3-year-old son.

This post is written in loving memory of my late brother who was called to rest on 11th August 2010.  I wasn't able to post it yesterday because I felt the great pain of losing someone very dear to everyone of us. We held prayers on 30th July for two beloved men in our lives, my late father (who passed away years ago) and late brother, who had left us for a better place.

This is what my sister wrote at her facebook as a dedication to my late father and brother. I am quoting her who might had quoted it somewhere, if not her own.

"A good person will always be in memory. A better person will always be in dreams. But the best person will always be in heart. For us, you are the best persons and we will remember you till the end of our life...."


This is my prayer for both of them in Bahasa Malaysia which I'm unable to translate to English.


"Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh kedua-dua allahyarham dan diletakkan di sisi orang-orang beriman. Amin."


Nov 29, 2010

A Month Of Bountiful Blessings

It's the end of November. Many things have been going on in my life. Good and bad; but I'll just put aside the bad ones, which were mentioned in some of my posts. Today I am going to highlight the blessings I get throughout the month. As I used to say, I am counting my blessings, so let it be kept like priceless treasure and fold nicely in one part of my life. They all have a special place in my heart.

My blessings at random :

1. I am very proud of my nieces achievements this year. They are in primary schools and excel well in their studies. Two of my nieces, both 12 years old, sat for their Year 6 UPSR Examination and achieved good grades in all the 5 subjects. To Nur Syaheerah and Nur Samhana, heartiest congratulations, you made your parents proud and made me proud too. Both of them got 4 straight As, in Bahasa Malaysia Paper 1, Bahasa Malaysia Paper 2, English and Mathematics and 1B each for Science. Next year, they will go to secondary school. For those outside Malaysia, I would like you to know that Mathematics and Science are taught in English. Actually, in primary school, pupils learn 11 subjects altogether but for the Year 6 UPSR, only 5 papers are assessed in their public examination. They are the core subjects only.

Other than these two, my other nieces and nephews have their fair share of doing well in school.

Nur Samhana
Nur Syaheerah
   
Izzet, 6 years old, on his 'graduation' day at his kindergarten.

Nur Farhana, among the best achievers in her school.
(She's wearing her school uniform.)
                  
2. My circle of friends grows as each day passes by. I am getting connected with bloggers friends from other parts of the world. I feel life's so wonderful being able to share so much thoughts, stories, cultures, talks and so on and all these enrich my life. Apart from that, meeting online friends always brings joy to me when I am able to catch up on some chats and jokes which always bring big smile to my face. Goofing around is fun. There's always a little child inside us even if we are grown-ups.



Bracelets from Manchester.

3. These are the gifts from my sister and brother-in-law in Manchester. They are the thoughtful couple who always think of us here. It's not only bracelets, whenever they are back here, we are always pampered with chocolates of various flavours and also perfume for everyone.

I love accessories but not too bold. The latest trend is oversize accessories but I am not into it. To me, less is more. I appreciate the bracelets and wear them for formal functions only.

Regarding my brother-in-law, we are from different cultures but he is able to cope with us whenever he is here.  Of course, he faces the communication barrier with my mom who does not speak English. That is a situation what we call as a conversation between a 'hen and a duck', a typical joke here, because they aren't birds of a feather so, language-wise neither one understands what they  talk  about. Nevertheless, my mom would talk in our dialect or Bahasa Malaysia with some sign language  and he, in English. Somehow, they click well! We are the living translators when both sides seem blur.



No, this isn't me. This is my sister in London.

4. Apart from the above gift, this week,  I got an "Influential Blogger Award" from a sweet lady, Stephaine of Philippines. As I said before, I am not in the position to say the person I am or of my character. It's up to friends and readers to "assess" me to be in what category I should be. Thanks a lot to Stephaine. I am touched because she puts her heart into making the award a reality by spending five days working on it.  Her touching posts made me cried. I admire her courage in sharing part of her life with us. What more could I say other than my 2-cents and I wish Stephaine a happy and blessed life with her beloved DK.

I am not forgetting the rest of my friends. I am extending my deepest gratitude and heartfelt thanks to everyone of you and especially to my bloggers' friends who have, in one way or another, made it possible for me to keep going in this blogging world. Your awards, comments and encouragements have always been a great inspiration to me. Others who help me in the technical side, for your advices and tips, for pointing out my mistakes, you are simply awesome! I need people like you around. You are just like oxygen which I need most to keep me 'breathing'  in blogging. To all my followers here and at bloggers, you all mean the whole world to me. You have filled up my days with happiness upon getting your votes, visits and comments. Don't hesitate to give me constructive comments. It will indeed be a boost to improve my style of writing and you can pin-point my typos too. I am open-minded, so don't worry. You won't get bitten for telling me so!

Cheers, everyone!
  


P.S. Bahasa means language. Bahasa Malaysia is our national language.
       English comes as the second language.

Aug 21, 2010

The Day He Left Us Forever

11th August, 5.40 a.m., Wednesday....the 1st day of Ramadan, a day which we'll never forget cos we lost our beloved brother who had been ill for almost 2 years and succumbed to his illness at dawn that day. We are filled with grief. Losing a family member is the last thing we would want to happen but who are we to ward off what's been fated for him for we strongly believe in God's will who has the uppermost hand in all matters. Mankind is God's creation and our full devotion are towards Him and God has let us share the love with him for 43 years. Quite a long time going through the bitter sweet life as close-knit siblings in a big family. The bond among family members is very strong and we care so much for each other. He's no longer with us but our love for him lives on.

Reflection on what happened that morning.....
..........got a call from my sister in Kuching telling us that our beloved brother was in a critical condition. Just a couple of minutes later my mom called telling us that he had gone. We were so shaken to hear that though we knew how his condition was. It had been a very frequent visits for us to Kuching especially in the last 2 years.  My brother was working and residing there with his family. As for my mom, Kuching is her second home. She has to juggle between Kuching and Bintulu frequently visiting my late brother and my sister who's also residing there. My mom was at my brother's side throughout his illness. About a week before his death, we were on a convoy of 4 cars visiting him when he was admitted at Sarawak General Hospital Kuching.

Paid our last respect......
........that morning we were lucky enough to be able to board the early flight to Kuching. Luckily, it wasn't the peak period so the 15 of us (brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, nephews and nieces) were on our way and arrived at about 11 a.m. at Kuching International Airport. We headed straight to my brother's place. All of us except for my youngest brother was unable to make it as he's attending  a PETRONAS course in Trengganu.

In loving memory......
                                my dear brother
                                our prayers are always with you
                                the love we shared
                                the tears and joys we went through
                                all these are engraved in our hearts
                                the memories will linger on
                                everything's so vivid
                                in our minds
                                childhood memories
                                and when we grow up
                                unconditional love forever
                                exists among us
                                everyone you left behind
                                loves you the way you were
                                and sweet memories
                                will linger on forever

Today is the 11th day since he was called to rest. We still feel so much of his presence, the jokes and laughter we shared.....actually, everything.....which are now sweet loving memories . We will miss him this coming Aidilfitri.  We love you, my dear brother, but our Almighty loves you even more.

Oct 20, 2009

Right From My Heart......

I just can't help ......
feeling the darkness that befalls the night
I wish dearly there are twinkling stars above
that could be my guide in the paths ahead
Everything seems to be bleak
No matter how hard I try to think that it isn't


This is indeed a real challenge of life
For what I want it to be.....isn't as it is
Tears are pricking my eyelids
My heart fills with a burden .......
beyond description


My empathy.....right from my heart
For you, my beloved brother
I hide my sorrow....and replace it with
words of encouragement
for you to be strong enough to face
whatever comes your way


My prayers.....and everyone else's
in our big family
Are specially meant for you
We love you so dearly
that we feel every single fear,
every single anxiety....
and fear of the unknown
that you feel...


But, my dear brother
Never let your strength weakens
Don't ever let negative thoughts
be in control of you
Keep your spirit high
Let it soars as high as the sky


Think of the sun, the blue sky
Think of our family strong bond
Think of your beloved Akmal
And your 'queen' Ju
Think of the great time we share
Just think of everything nice


My dear brother,
You have a strong family support
Let us be together in tears and laughter
Lets just focus on
A recovery sooner or later
And lets not forget
It could be a trial of life
And keep on believing
that you'll be able to overcome
everything.....yes! everything
Amin




















*Every single line I wrote above comes right from my heart for my dear brother who has been ill for almost a year.