Too Bad For Climbers!

It's a good sign for many people but too bad for some people.

Have a nice day!



Image : www.free-jokes-online.com

Puns

I like these puns which I got from http://freejokes.ca
Cool special rules for guests! :)
Have fun!


SPECIAL RULES FOR GUESTS


1--Guests are requested not to speak to the dumb waiter.



2--Guests wishing to get up without being called can have

self-raising flour for supper.



3--The hotel is supported by a beautiful cemetery; hearses to

hire, 25c. a day.



4--Guests wishing to do a little driving will find a hammer and

nails in the closet.



5--If the room gets too warm, open the window and see the fire

escape.



6--If you're fond of athletics and like good jumping, lift the

mattress and see the bed spring.



7--If your lamp goes out, take a feather out of the pillow; that's

light enough for any room.



8--Any one troubled with nightmare will find a halter on the

bed-post.



9--Don't worry about paying your bill; the house is supported by

the foundation.


J. WISE, Prop.

 

Think About It

      If Looks Could Kill ....

Oh no! The teeth rattles, the heart pounds louder, the eyes are fiery ..... and just one look is murderous! How could he!

If you were in her shoes, what's your first reaction? Or reactions?



Image : http://www.ahajokes.com 

Time For A Laugh

A man from the census bureau was doing a door-to-door survey. He knocked on the door of one house and was greeted by a young boy. The man asked the child if anybody else was home, and when the boy shook his head, he decided nevertheless to try to get the information he needed. "May I know your father's name?" The boy answered. "My father's name is Laughing." Although the name surprised the census man, he pressed on. "And your mother's name?" "Her name is Smiling," the boy replied. The man quipped, "Wait a minute, little boy! Are you kidding?""No, that's my sister," the boy answered. "I'm Joking!"

                                                                                          by Gemma C. Fornolles, Philippines
                                                                                                                             Reader's  Digest, October 1994

Images from http://photobucket.com

*As I'm not able to create a joke of my own, so I'm sharing one of  my collection of jokes from

Reader's Digest.

Light Moment

Enjoy!

                                                            Wake-up Call

    A couple, retired for many years, always set their clock-radio for 7 a.m., waking to the news. One morning, their favorite romantic music from the past started playing. The husband put his arms around his wife and whispered in her ear, "Darling, if I were 40 years younger, do you know what I'd do?"
    "Yes," she murmured, snuggling closer, "I know what you'd do."
    "Tell me, sweetheart, " he sighed. "What would I do."
    "If you were 40 years younger, " she whispered, "you'd get up and go to work!"
                                                                                                                             - Gene Comer

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                                                         Surprise Packages

    When my husband asked me what I wanted for my 40th birthday, I told him, "Something that will make me look sexy and beautiful." Expecting a lingerie box containing black silk and lace, I was surprised when he dragged in a large, hefty package.
    My gift was an exercise bike.
                                                                                                                              - Maria Andes

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                                                            Humble Pie

    A friend of mine, a successful young doctor, was showing off his shiny new Porsche to his grandmother. After taking her for a spin, he helped her climb out of the low-slung automobile.
    "How do you like it?" he asked, beaming.
    "It's fine, I guess," she replied. "But maybe when your practice improves, you can afford something automatic with four doors."
                                                                                                                            - Janice Mitchell

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                                                        Animal Crackers

    Ever since my aunt was a child, she wanted to have a black cat named Midnight. When one of the cats on her farm had a litter, she got her wish, except that the kitten patch of white fur under the chin. She decided that Midnight was inappropriate because it wasn't totally black. Instead she decided to name it 11:45.
                                                                                                                  - Michelle R. Dlugosz

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                                                         Deft Definitions

 FANATIC :  A person who's enthusiastic about something in which you have no interest.
                                                                                                               - Albert J. Nimeth

FLATTERY :  The art of telling a person exactly what he thinks of himself.
                                                                                           - Paul H. Gilbert

BORE :  A person whose life is an open book...that you don't want to read.
                                                                                              - Joey Adams

BIGAMY :  Only crime where two rites make a wrong.
                                                                   - Bob Hope

STATISTICS :  Numbers looking for an argument.
                                                   - Changing Times

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*The jokes are my collection from the old Reader's Digest.

Balqis
20.10.2010