Puns

I like these puns which I got from http://freejokes.ca
Cool special rules for guests! :)
Have fun!


SPECIAL RULES FOR GUESTS


1--Guests are requested not to speak to the dumb waiter.



2--Guests wishing to get up without being called can have

self-raising flour for supper.



3--The hotel is supported by a beautiful cemetery; hearses to

hire, 25c. a day.



4--Guests wishing to do a little driving will find a hammer and

nails in the closet.



5--If the room gets too warm, open the window and see the fire

escape.



6--If you're fond of athletics and like good jumping, lift the

mattress and see the bed spring.



7--If your lamp goes out, take a feather out of the pillow; that's

light enough for any room.



8--Any one troubled with nightmare will find a halter on the

bed-post.



9--Don't worry about paying your bill; the house is supported by

the foundation.


J. WISE, Prop.

 

Time For A Laugh

A man from the census bureau was doing a door-to-door survey. He knocked on the door of one house and was greeted by a young boy. The man asked the child if anybody else was home, and when the boy shook his head, he decided nevertheless to try to get the information he needed. "May I know your father's name?" The boy answered. "My father's name is Laughing." Although the name surprised the census man, he pressed on. "And your mother's name?" "Her name is Smiling," the boy replied. The man quipped, "Wait a minute, little boy! Are you kidding?""No, that's my sister," the boy answered. "I'm Joking!"

                                                                                          by Gemma C. Fornolles, Philippines
                                                                                                                             Reader's  Digest, October 1994

Images from http://photobucket.com

*As I'm not able to create a joke of my own, so I'm sharing one of  my collection of jokes from

Reader's Digest.